What is the worst thing that can happened to your life

What will be the worst thing that can ever happened to you... twice, the person that you found, the person that you know it is the 'one' said they just wanted to be a friend and nothing more...The first one is 12 years ago, just after a month of dating, she said she just wanted to be friend... she is happily married now... which is fine. The second one, is just less than two months... I can never truly love somebody or I should not do that at all...why? Well, I been dating for a while, but the same feeling is not there... I can lied to myself or something, but I will not able to commit like these two wonderful individuals that I met.

Or again I made the same mistake again... I am just fooling myself... I am truly broken now... truly heart broken...

Some tots

My lucky charms, I don't need it anymore, You are always right, I am not always been myself, I always escaping, I am afraid to compete with others, I am afraid of myself, I am afraid of you.

The world make me feel small, I thought I can survive in it, and find a survival mean...

Maybe the coming days will be better and perfect, but the only lucky thing is my weaknesses included tolerances... I have nothing to complain... maybe I have said many bad things in the past... the game of saving face... when I am together with you, I am a complete person... I would like to restart again, so that I can be a better person... or so I can get closer to you, I just needed one more minutes to hug you...Please wait just one minute, so I can caught up with you, please let me be besides you, because I love you...

I am sorry...