Jokes from YL

It is always said that good joke should be spread around... and I love these jokes from YL's blog...

#1
What is a Kiss?
Prof. of Computer Science: A kiss is a few bits of love compiled into a byte.
Prof. of Algebra: A kiss is two divided by nothing.
Prof. of Geometry: A kiss is the shortest distance between two straight lines.
Prof. of Physics: A kiss is the contraction of mouth due to the expansion of the heart.
Prof. of Zoology: A kiss is the interchange of unisexual salivary bacteria.
Prof. of Physiology: A kiss is the juxtaposition of two orbicular ors muscles in the state of contraction.
Prof. of Dentistry: A kiss is infectious and antiseptic.
Prof. of Accountancy: A kiss is a credit because it is profitable when returned.
Prof. of Economics: A kiss is that thing for which the demand is higher than the supply.
Prof. of Philosophy: A kiss is the persecution for the child, ecstasy for the youth and homage for the old.
Prof. of Engineering: Uh, What? I’m not familiar with that term.

#2
Male or Female?
FREEZER BAGS: Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.
PHOTOCOPIERS: Female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again.
They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong buttons.
TIRES: Male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated.
HOT AIR BALLOONS: Male, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt.
SPONGES: Female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.
WEB PAGES: Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.
TRAINS: Male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.
HOURGLASS: Female, because over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.
HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.
THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this - it easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying

#3
Elementary Science
- One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second.
- The law of gravity says it's not fair jumping up without coming back down.
- Someday we may discover how to make magnets that can point in any direction.
- Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into a sun in the daytime.
- A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go.
- Lime is a green-tasting rock.
- Many dead animals in the past changed to fossils while others preferred to be oil.
- Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they're there.
- In some rocks you can find the fossil footprints of fishes.
- A blizzard is when it snows sideways.
- A monsoon is a French gentleman.
- It is so hot in some places that the people there have to live in other places.